Gee golly witikers.
I secretly wished at this last New Years that this year would be important for me. And I would be cutting my new experience short of credit if I said they weren't...
To start this, it's pretty fair to say I have changed a lot since the beginning of the year. As most of you know, at the beginning of the year, I was still dating Matt, whom I had been seeing for the last five years. The relationship came to an abrupt halt, and I wasn't ready for it. I was heartbroken, and struggled to keep up with schoolwork and getting to know the people around me on campus. There was one assignment in Creative Photography that woke me up, and required me to dig deeper: a series of self-portraits. Normally, that would call for a dramatic eye-roll from me, but I took it as an opportunity to really challenge my irrational emotions and at the same time, put them to use. It was definitely that project alone that made me realize what making art was potential of and began my affinity for the medium. (more on this subject to come.)
Anywho. Post-break up, I finally agreed to go jam with a friend of mine's band, and I really wasn't expecting too much when I first showed up. But by the time I left, I knew there was something there and it was really exciting. The girls were super cool and we all got on really easily. So, a few months later, here I am, officially the guitarist of Suite Little Sister. It's weird, I had definitely forgotten over the years how refreshing playing music is...
...Along with its relaxed atmosphere, came a lot of perks as well. I have met a lot of really amazing people since I joined the group and already had some pretty incredible experiences I wouldn't be able to have otherwise. On the same note, it has really given a lot back to me. Over the last two months, I have really began to look at the world differently. As of recently, I've learned how to slow down and stop expecting things to happen on a certain time schedule and read situations slower. I've learned you can't expect events or things to happen so fast because they're expected. Life is meant to be a natural flow, not graphed, precised, and sectioned. That's something I definitely have struggled with in the past, and can apply to almost every aspect of my life. It's definitely past vs. present now, and I just want to continue surrounding myself around happy, energetic, and creative people to continue becoming a stronger, better person.
Speaking of which, I began dating this kid, Josh, about a month ago and it's going really well. Without being too cheesy, it's really refreshing to be with someone that not only 'gets' me, but supports me to where I feel like he inspires me to keep making work and to continue seeing the world differently.
And as of late, my anxiety has practically disappeared. I remember to the beginning of the year it was so overwhelming, it inferred with everything and I honestly was not an easy person to handle. Since the summer has begun though, I have applied this slow logic and am just trying to not spend so much time being in the past, and just looking forward for what is happening today and what will happen tomorrow. Every action is becoming more intuitive and I'm trying to easier on myself, and I can honestly say I'm really, really happy to say the least. Finally. :)
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